Update

Somehow I knew that this would happen... I would excitedly start a blog and then after about two weeks I would get over its newness and henceforth neglect it. Oh well, it's not too late for a fresh start I guess :). Speaking of which, Wes and I are about to begin a new chapter in our lives.
Sometime in the next 30-60 days we will be leaving Marion and moving back to our homeland :). We spent several months praying about this decision, and we felt peace to move forward. Now, we are amazed at how God is opening doors like crazy! I got hired at my old middle school (crazy!) as a school counselor. I am so excited about this job by the way- the cool part is that I didn't get the exact position that I had originally interviewed for, but this one is ever better! We already have a place secured to live that will be really cheap and help us pay off our school loans asap, Wes has an interview next week, and we just got word today that it looks like we'll be having an offer coming in for our house in the next few days (this seems almost miraculous in today's market, especially in Marion... our house has been for sale for 8 days!). Oh, and we visited a church that we felt really at home in and are excited about attending after the move. Whoa!!! We are so amazed at the blessings of all this right now- we feel like God is blowing us away, providing for us beyond expectation!

I guess we all go through seasons of blessing at times, along with the not-so-fun seasons of trials or droughts, but for now we are glad to be experiencing God's blessings. I know that loving Him is not all about what He does for us, but I think He deserves the recognition as Provider in circumstances like this. I think I speak for Wes and I both when I say that our cup is overflowing!

Lamb

The past few days I have been studying the Passover. In case you aren't familiar with it, the Passover was when God told the Israelites that each family needed to slaughter a 1 year old, undefected lamb and smear its blood on the family's door frame. Then, that night God would pass through and the Destroyer (the angel of death) would kill the firstborn son and animal in each household that didn't have the blood on the door frame- namely, the firstborn Egyptian sons, as God had provided a way for His chosen people (the Israelites) to be safe from this fate. You can read the story for yourself in Exodus 12.

In the Beth Moore study I'm doing, called "Jesus," I was reminded that Jesus was crucified the day after the Passover celebration- a celebration that Jewish people have continued to celebrate since the original Passover occurred. Basically- God is brilliant. Way, way back in the days of Moses he was already preparing His plans to send Jesus to save us from eternal death. Since God is holy- without sin- and we aren't, we pretty much needed help or we'd be screwed. Forever. Luckily for us, God is Love. Sometimes I find myself forgetting what all of God's seemingly crazy laws were all about... but again I am reminded that they served a purpose... to set us up for Jesus! The Passover instructions seemed completely random to me when I first heard them... but now I see what an awesome picture it creates of what Jesus is for me... and you. He is OUR lamb, the one who's blood we need in order for the angel of death- eternal death- to pass over us. But how WONDERFUL it is that God even provided our lamb for us... all we have to do is believe in Him and have faith that Jesus' blood spilt for us is enough to grant us life- abundant and eternal.

Today I am thankful for God's provision of Jesus in my life- the fact that I have his blood covering my "doorway," so that I don't have to fear what lies ahead. His grace is sufficient for me. 

Lucky

Have you ever felt like you were in the presence of greatness? I know that I have been around someone in the past that I thought was really awesome for one reason or other, such as for their musical talent or their athletic ability. But this week I had the privilege of spending time with one of the greatest people I think I may ever have met. And she came in the form of a tiny, fourth grade girl who can't walk. Well, at least not on her own. She has to use a walker. And she is AMAZING. "How are you today Mrs. Gorsuch?" she asked me, as she does each time she sees me. "What a beautiful table cloth!" she exclaimed at the sight of the floral, plastic table cloth covering the table in the school counseling room. I listened as she created a menu out loud, something she likes to do in her spare time. "We'll start out with a tossed salad. And then, how about lobster, on a bed of pasta, covered in an herb-butter sauce." How can you not smile at the sight of a tiny little girl dreaming up a gourmet meal, the type of meal that she has probably never gotten to experience? And then, the best part of all came. She offered to sing for me. "Can you close the door Mrs. Gorsuch? Now which song would you like me to sing?" I knew that singing was a special thing that she does, and it's a way that she works through the death of her father. My heart soared at the thought that I was actually lucky enough to have met and spent time with this special girl, and best of all, that she would sing for me. 

This week was a good week. I truly feel that the image of God is so evident in this little girl's life, and somehow, by spending time with her, it was almost like spending time with an embodied piece of God Himself. What a privilege!

Psychology + Christianity = Lots of deep thoughts!

So I just got back from a coffee date with a friend (well a tea date I guess, if you want to be specific :) ). Our conversation floated to the topic of mental health and the methods that God chooses to heal mental illness. This is a pretty complex and important topic to me, seeing as how I'm studying counseling at a Christian institution and I have dealt with some mental health issues in my life, along with the majority of the population at large if we are all honest with ourselves. In one camp are those that see mental illness as a strictly spiritual, maybe even demonic issue. Those in this camp may take the position that if one simply has enough faith in Jesus and prays for healing, perhaps with some scripture thrown in, the depression, bipolar, etc. should magically disappear, and in the occasional case, God does seem to choose to heal someone in an instant. But, what are those who are not healed in that instant supposed to think? That their suffering is all their fault? That if they were just a better person, a better Christian, less of a sinner, than God would love them enough to heal them? Sadly, this is the message that they might be hearing, only adding to their guilt and shame.

While I do not doubt God's ability to heal nor the work that Jesus accomplished on the cross, my education and understanding leads me to think that more often than not, God allows one's healing to be more of a process- more of a journey toward freedom. A person is a complex being, with biological, emotional, relational, and spiritual components, which all interact in intricate ways with one another. To ignore the complexities of humanness often seems to only minimize both the problem and the person. 

And yet, God most certainly always plays a role in our healing, whether we know it or not. I can look back over my life and see how God used different people, different experiences, and certainly many prayers and His Word, to over time bring restoration and healing into some of the broken areas in my life. This is not to say that I am complete and that I am 100% healed and free from the damage that this world causes. And that's OK. Because suffering, struggle, and brokenness are ripe opportunities for growth, for compassion, for community, and for humility. And if we allow it to, suffering can put us in perfect position to run into the arms of the One who knows suffering unlike any other and who loved us enough to die for our freedom- Jesus.

I know that these thoughts are sort of scattered, probably because I don't have it all sorted out in my brain. And I very well may never. Because God is a lot bigger than my understanding, and His creation is a lot more complex than I have the capacity to grasp. All I know is that we should not have to feel ashamed or guilty about our pain, but instead we should strive to create a world in which people can feel safe to run to us, and ultimately to God with their pain. He loves us just where we are at, but He also loves us enough not to leave us there. So, too, should we love people. 

Our plan, God's plan... Whose plan???

So recently Wes and I were confronted with a seemingly hugely important decision to possibly make. (Sorry for the confusing sentence, but I can't think of any other way to say it.) The past several months have been a time of spiritual growth for both of us... our priorities seem to be shifting away from living for ourselves and toward living for the good of others, and ultimately, for God. This is not to say that this shift has happened without a struggle... it has taken about three years for our strong wills to finally start to break it seems. We have been fortunate to find a church home here in Marion that challenges us, that is passionate about Jesus, and that is not afraid to get their hands dirty in reaching out to the "unwanted, untouchables" of our community.  Wes is surrounded by guys that uplift him spiritually and also by guys that he is ministering to daily. Anyway, I am saying all of this so that you will understand the choice that stands before us.

We came to Marion seven years ago to receive an education. Period. We did not intend to stay here any longer than we had to. We didn't count on finding so many people that we care about and have invested in here in Marion either. But, both of our families live in northern Indiana, and we love them dearly. They live close enough to us that we feel like it almost teases us; the two hour distance isn't really very far, but we get tired of the frequent weekend trips back and forth and it seems that this will only get worse when we start having babies.

Though we were thinking that we would be staying in Marion for at least another year at this point, a potential job sort of jumped out at me recently. We told God to shut the door if it isn't right, if the timing is not His will. Of course we also mentioned to Him that we sure would like it to be His plan for me to get this job, and so if He could just open all doors along the way we would take that as an indication that He is on board with our plans and once and for all we can move back home!

Well, one month later... we still don't know the final outcome. The job interview has come and gone, and the way things have worked out (without going into all the crazy details), there's still about a 50/50 chance that I will get the job. "Hmmm.... couldn't You have just slammed the door shut or thrown it right open God? I don't remember asking for You to please leave the door halfways ajar so that our future continues to hang in the balance for months on end!"

I found myself particularly frustrated with God one day about two weeks ago. Up until this point I had thought that I could continue to assume that if, in the end, I get this job, God has given us the green light to pack up and leave town for home. After all, God is certainly big enough to shut the door and not give me this job if He wants us to stay in Marion longer I reasoned. Well this logic was suddenly shaken when one evening when Wes came home from his men's cell group meeting and declared that "We really need to pray about this. I'm not totally sure that you should take that job, even if you get it. We really need to make sure we do this in God's timing." WHAT??? This was not what I was wanting to hear, and I told God about it. "Fine God. But you are going to totally have to change my heart if that is what You want, because frankly, 20 people would be lined up behind me wanting this job and I'm not so sure I could make my mouth form the words 'no thank you' if they call me with the offer."

By now you can probably see that this circumstance has really helped me to grow in honesty with God. Besides, it's not like He doesn't already know how I feel, so why hide it from Him?

So I was ticked with God the whole next day. I realized I was being somewhat of a baby about the situation, but gosh darn it, I didn't care. That night, I laid in bed and starting praying, lamenting to God about how confused I was, how much I want to move home, how much I want this job, yet how I also want to honor Him and be in His will and serve Him where He wants me. "I just don't know what to do or what to think God!'

Suddenly, I felt a whisper in my spirit. "Daughter, you don't have to know. Just worship me. I'll take care of the details." Wow- I cannot tell you how those words struck such a deep chord in my heart and mind, but they did. I DON'T HAVE TO KNOW. I don't have to know! I, Chelsea Gorsuch, don't have to have it all worked out. I can live in freedom, loving and worshipping God right where I am, without "having it all together." Because God is good, He is sovereign, He is loving, He is wise, and I can trust in Him. I don't have to trust in myself or my own wisdom. What a relief off of my own shoulders!

As I sit here writing this today... I still don't have any answers. The way things are looking, I probably won't for at least another month from now. But, unlike before, I'm OK with that! I've still got work to do here in Marion, so does Wes, and so we just rest in the promise that "The Lord will work out His plans for my life-- For Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever." (Psalm 138: 8)

Welcome to our world!

As if  you didn't get enough of us on facebook or myspace, here is yet another avenue to catch a glimpse into our lives :). Actually, I (Chelsea) have thought that starting a blog would be fun for a while now, but it wasn't until I tried to view a friend's blog and it wouldn't let me unless I created my own account that I went ahead and got the ball rolling. So, I'm excited to embark on this new creation- and I hope that I can be disciplined enough to update it more than twice a year :). I feel like God has been teaching Wes and I both a lot in the past few months, so I think that sometimes this could be a good place to jot down some of those thoughts and what not. 

The latest exciting news for us- we just booked a trip to Arizona for the first week in May. Grand Canyon, beautiful scenery, fun hiking, different culture... here we come! We can't wait!

Thanks for reading this to anyone who did :).  Check back again soon!